Sunday, March 29, 2009
My Mind At 6:00 AM...
Staying up all night is really tough. It really IS possible to think and worry so much, that you can't even go to sleep at all. I know, because it just happened to me. I tossed. I turned. I read. I turned on a DVD. But nothing. Just more worries, and more thinking. Finally, I logged into the computer. I IM'ed my friend in Israel and explained what was going on. Then, there it was, the pit in my stomach. Is it possible to develop an ulcer from so much stress? I wonder. As I explained the story, the feeling got worse. And then.... there it was. It happened. A tear formed and fell fast down my face, and landed on my shoulder. It felt heavy, like it was big and strong -- just like me, right? Everyone always tells me I'm so strong. I never used to believe them, but now I do. Anyways, the tear felt so heavy as it dropped on my shoulder. And then right away, another one fell. Then, before I knew it, they wouldn't stop. They fell and fell, I sobbed and sobbed. That brings me to this moment. Guess what. I'm not feeling any better. Not even a little bit. Not even at all. :-(
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5 comments:
I wish I had the magic words that would make the pain fall away and lift you up, that would erase the tears and caress your cheeks, that would hold your hand and give you a feeling of love and care but sadly although I can't Hashem can. I hope that until then, you will know, that some strange kid across the water has been thinking about you and hopes you feel better and at peace very soon.
Hey, knowing when to let go and letting yourself cry sometimes IS strong.
Those people are right about you, and for all the reasons you've yet to discover.
(((((HUGS)))))
I wish I could take away your pain...
Just found your blog now...
read some of what you wrote...
Hang in there................................................
(((hug)))
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